Many of us struggle with our faith at different times in our lives. It is a known fact that even some of the most committed spiritual persons have struggled with doubts, just like every one of us. However, struggling faith is not something that we like to go through.
Faith that struggles is not only something that we alone go through. In the Bible, we find some personalities who struggled with their faith. Jacob, who lived about 2006-1859 B.C, appears to be a biblical figure who struggled with his faith in God. In that sense, he was somewhat different from Abraham his grandfather.
Because of the fear of his brother, Esau’s vengeance and the desire of Isaac (his father) for him to marry one of his kinswomen, not a Canaanite (Gen 27: 42-28: 5), Jacob had to leave his home and everything that he knew making a journey to Paddam-Aram. The prophet Hosea referred to the journey of Jacob to the “field of Aram.” (Hos 12: 12). Scholars are confident that Paddam-Aram can be referred to the region around Haran or to Haran itself. Then, on his journey Jacob had a dream, in which angels went up and down a ladder connecting earth to heaven. God appeared before Jacob and established a persona relationship with him through this dream. God renewed the covenant that He had made with Abraham and then Jacob too received a blessing from God, who promised him and his descendants land and support (Gen 28:10-17).
Years later after his marriage to Leah and Rachel, Jacob decided to return home to restore his relationship with Esau. Again, he expected the negotiations with Esau to be tense. Wracked with fear that Esau would come to the meeting with his four hundred armed men, Jacob prayed to God for protection. And the night before he arrived at the meeting point, Jacob was visited by a mysterious or a shadowy figure surprising him. This mysterious figure wrestled with Jacob all night. This figure permanently injured the hip of Jacob. But, Jacob in his weakness did not give up until his attacker gave him a blessing.
Gradually, in this mysterious figure Jacob saw God face to face. It was a mysterious encounter with God since God was acting through this encounter. Out of his weakness, Jacob called out in faith for God’s blessing. God touched Jacob (injuring his hip) and transformed him. Although Jacob was a broken man, he was also a transformed person. From that day forward, Jacob was called Israel: one who struggles with God (Gen 32: 24-32). The descendants of Jacob became known as the Israelites. For the rest of his life, Jacob walked with a limp that demonstrated his dependence on God.
The story of Jacob is portrayed as a very human character with a wide range of emotions and actions; both good and bad. It reveals that God’s blessings continue to work even through weak and not so genuine human beings. Jacob had a pattern of deceiving and tricking others to get the better of them. But, the struggling faith of Jacob changed over time. His life reminds us that God can transform our struggles for His purposes and for our good. Also his life teaches us how an imperfect person can be greatly blessed by God over time, not because of who she/he is, but because of who God is.
— Fr. Niranjan Rodrigo, Ph.D
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